This could be the big showdown for Jelly Trumpet. It’s the last episode of the season. Will our hapless crew survive one final challenge to the podcast?
I’m always learning stuff from Jelly Trumpet, like some castles have a doorbell.
Will Nigel, the giant squirrel, be rescued? Why was he abducted? What is his future?
What is the future of Jelly Trumpet? Will enough of the crew survive to travel on further adventures through time, space, genres and Jim’s head?
Dive in for silly, surreal and odd interludes, o’ and some great music from the house band ‘We Paint Houses.
Stuff We’ll Hear in this Episode:
Interview Countdown with James McCabe
We delve into the creative world of copywriting and comedy videos for business…
INCOMING!
Season 3 is on the horizon. We promise thrills, silliness and creativity to use in your world...
Thank you for listening to the Jelly Trumpet Podcast!
SUPPORT THE PODCAST
For super Jelly fans
Patreon: Jelly Trumpet
JOIN US ON SOCIAL FOR EXTRA FUN
Facebook: Jelly Trumpet
Instagram: jellytrumpet
w: jellytrumpet.com
Stay fab,
Mr Jim & Mr b
This could be the big showdown for Jelly Trumpet. It’s the last episode of the season. Will our hapless crew survive one final challenge to the podcast?
I’m always learning stuff from Jelly Trumpet, like some castles have a doorbell.
Will Nigel, the giant squirrel, be rescued? Why was he abducted? What is his future?
What is the future of Jelly Trumpet? Will enough of the crew survive to travel on further adventures through time, space, genres and Jim’s head?
Dive in for silly, surreal and odd interludes, o’ and some great music from the house band ‘We Paint Houses.
Stuff We’ll Hear in this Episode:
Interview Countdown with James McCabe
We delve into the creative world of copywriting and comedy videos for business…
INCOMING!
Season 3 is on the horizon. We promise thrills, silliness and creativity to use in your world...
Thank you for listening to the Jelly Trumpet Podcast!
SUPPORT THE PODCAST
For super Jelly fans
Patreon: Jelly Trumpet
JOIN US ON SOCIAL FOR EXTRA FUN
Facebook: Jelly Trumpet
Instagram: jellytrumpet
w: jellytrumpet.com
Stay fab,
Mr Jim & Mr b
S/FX: A SHORT BURST OF THE JELLY TRUMPET THEME
TONY:
Jelly Trumpet Season 2, Episode 14, Part II.
[SOTTO VOCE] Why didn’t you get on the plane Sharon?
MR B:
TONY! Stop this stuff about Sharon!
S/FX: SOUND OF A BUSY RESTAURANT
JIM:
That was easier than I thought.
ELEANOR:
The receptionist was most helpful.
MR B:
Yes. We asked a question and she answered. There’s Marco.
JIM:
No torture needed at all. Where?
MR B:
On the terrace. Sitting at the last table on the left, sipping on an espresso.
JIM:
Great.
[TWO BEATS]
ELEANOR:
Now what?
JIM:
We take him by surprise.
MR B:
And?
ELEANOR:
And?
JIM:
I’m thinking.
MR B:
I can see that by the steam evaporating off the top of your head.
JIM:
I know! We ask Marco where Nigel is.
MR B:
[SARCASTIC] Brilliant.
ELEANOR:
OK. Let’s go…
S/FX: BUTTON BEING PUSHED
S/FX: INTERVIEW COUNTDOWN THEME TUNE
INTERVIEW COUNTDOWN
TONY:
Interview Countdown!
JIM:
Welcome to James McCabe.
James is ac copywriter and partner in Sketch House, a comedy video company aimed at business.
JIM:
Thank you Xxxx Xxxxxx. If you would like to know more about Xxxxx and his / her work you can find him / her at XXXxxxx. Contact details are also on the Jelly Trumpet website.
RIFF 5
S/FX: BURST OF JELLY TRUMPET THEME
MR B:
Hello Marco. Where’s Nigel?
MARCO:
Hi Mr b! Follow me.
JIM:
It worked! See!
ELEANOR:
[SOTTO VOCE] Ton sac de chips.
JIM:
Where are we going?
MR B:
Looks like he’s taking us up to the castle.
[TWO BEATS]
JIM:
Perhaps we should go back?
MR B:
Without Nigel?
JIM:
O’ right. Yes. We have to find Nigel.
ELEANOR:
The castle reminds me of my own, Château des Rudel.
S/FX: TRUMPET FANFARE
JIM:
Golly. What was that?
MR B:
That was Marco ringing the doorbell to the castle barbican.
JIM:
Neat.
PRINCE SUSAN:
Welcome to the Tiger’s Nest. Thank you, Marco. You can go now.
JIM:
Good morning.
MR B:
Good morning.
ELEANOR:
Bonjour.
S/FX; A DRUM ROLL
PRINCE SUSAN:
I am Prince Susan. Follow me.
JIM:
[WHISPERING] Did he say Prince Susan?
MR B:
[WHISPERING] Yes. I think, perhaps the prince is a non-binary prince?
JIM:
O’. OK.
MR B:
cMac. Run tape.
S/FX: CHALLENGE JIM THEME
CHALLENGE JIM
TONY:
Challenge Jim!
S/FX: CHALLENGE JIM JINGLE/MUSIC
MR B:
Each episode we challenge Jim with a creative exercise.
JIM:
I’m ready.
MR B:
The challenge this episode is to come up with as many what if’s as possible in one minute.
JIM:
Erm. What if?
MR B:
Come on!
[MR B THROWS IN DIFFERENT IDEAS / DISTRACTIONS AND COUNTS JIM DOWN]
MR B:
Moving on.
TONY’S WORD OF THE EPISODE
TONY:
Tony’s Word of the Episode!
TONY:
Gootania! Gootania!
JIM:
Thank you, Tony. The definition of which is a country in the Balkans.
MR B:
Are you sure Jim?
JIM:
Yes. I am. It’s a real place you know.
MR B:
We have to drop this feature Jim. It’s rubbish!
RIFF 6
FADE IN:
S/FX: SOUND OF DRIPPING WATER
MR B:
Excuse me Prince Susan but we’re looking for our friend Nigel, this high, fluffy tail…constantly nibbling his nuts.
PRINCE SUSAN:
All in good time good sir. First, I’ll show you round the Tiger’s Nest.
MR B:
What is it you do here Prince Susan?
PRINCE SUSAN:
Many things, many things.
S/FX: A VERY HEAVY DOOR SQUEAKING OPEN
ELEANOR:
This looks like a…
PRINCE SUSAN:
If you would like to wait here, in the waiting room.
JIM:
OK.
S/FX: HEAVY DOOR BEING SLAMMED
ELEANOR:
Merde.
JIM:
That’s mould m’am.
MR B:
I don’t like this.
JIM:
Well, it’s a bit cold for a waiting room and it could do with a window or two.
MR B:
It’s a dungeon Jim.
JIM:
Are you sure?
MR B:
Very sure Jim. The chains hanging from the ceiling, the lack of windows, the damp running down the walls, o’ and that bloke tied to that rack moaning softly into his chest.
JIM:
It could be a one of those hard-core gyms?
S/FX: FACES BEING SLAPPED
ELEANOR:
Tu es une tarte à la crème anglaise!
MR B:
Let’s have a coffee.
JIM:
That hurt your majesty! Good idea.
[TWO BEATS]
MR B:
Lucky that Prince Susan missed cMac. Here we go, a perfect latte. Anything for you your majesty?
ELELANOR:
Yes. cMac is equipped with many accessories is he not? Something like a lock picking device perhaps?
MR B:
O’ yes he has a lock-picking device. Lovely, do you like the hint of Café Nero Mr Jim?
JIM:
I do.
ELEANOR:
We are not staying here, trapped like rats. ENJOYING COFFEE! Get moving! Pick the lock.
JIM:
I think you should Mr b.
MR B:
My coffee will get cold.
JIM:
I think you really should Mr b, she’s fuming.
ELEANOR:
Move!
MR B:
Engaging lock picking device.
S/FX: SOUND OF A LASER THEN A SMALL EXPLOSION
[TWO BEATS]
JIM:
You’ve blown the ruddy door off.
MR B:
Wrong button. Sorry about that.
JIM:
We didn’t get travel insurance you know Mr b?
MR B:
It’s only a door Jim.
ELEANOR:
Shhh!
JIM:
[WHISPERING] But it’s not our door Mr b. I mean it’s not very polite to blow the ruddy door off.
MR B:
[WHISPERING] It won’t happen again.
ELEANOR:
We’re leaving.
JIM:
[WHISPERING] O’ good. I think at the very least we should leave a note. You, know, explaining the accident. Offering to pay for a new door.
MR B:
Good idea. cMac a pen…
JIM:
NO! Let’s…let’s…not use cMac for the note. I happen to have a notebook and a pen.
ELEANOR:
Come on boys.
S/FX: RURITANIAN TYPE MUSIC
JIM:
[READING] Dear Prince Susan, sorry about the door, we had a small accident with our coffee machine’s laser. We will, of course, be happy to make recompense…
MR B:
O’.
JIM:
What Mr b?
MR B:
The door wasn’t locked.
ELEANOR:
Boys. We’re here to rescue Nigel.
MR B:
Quite. After you your majesty.
ELEANOR:
Thank you sir.
JIM:
Well, I suppose we find Nigel, get back to the podcast and travel back to St Albans then?
PRINCE SUSAN:
What has happened here?
MR B:
I do apologise Prince Susan, used the wrong button on the coffee machine.
PRINCE SUSAN:
Coffee machine?
MR B:
Yes.
JIM:
It won’t happen again.
PRINCE SUSAN:
Very well. Follow me…
S/FX: RURITANIAN TYPE MUSIC
TONY:
Tales from Jim’s Medicine Journal!
TALES FROM JIM’S MEDICINE JOURNAL
JIM:
Getting stuck happens to us all. This big rock suddenly appears. We can’t go round it and we can’t go over it. What do you do now? Well, there’s never a solution that will work every time. That’s why you keep a ‘medicine journal’ so you can collect the ideas that work.
When you use a medicine journal you are recording your creative activity. What works for you. Tools and tips that you build up so you have your own coach because only you can make yourself more creative.
Yes. You can read books, watch videos and attend workshops and these will give you some tools but only you know you and only you can explore the depths of your imagination.
So, there you are with a great big rock in your path, a block. Going over it would only leave behind something that will have to be dealt with at a later date and going around it is the same.
That rock represents something. Possibly a long-term doubt. So sit with it. Sit with it for a defined amount of time and worry the doubt like a dog with a bone.
What works for me when faced with a rock in my writing path are the following:
Going for a walk.
Talking to friends.
Changing the music.
Leaving the rock alone for a few days.
Laughing at myself.
Once, I had a massive boulder when half way through a play I was writing, the last in a trilogy. All the above resulted in nothing! It took weeks, I was only writing on Saturday mornings.
After weeks of nothing working. I’m stubborn you see, I found out something simple, that I hope is of use to you. I was asking the wrong question.
The boulder was caused by focusing on a technical aspect to do with multiple characters and a plank of wood. When I changed the question to ‘how do I make this as funny as I can?’ Then the energy changed, the imagination was engaged and the technical aspect lost importance.
Takeaway
When you’re stuck, are you asking the wrong question?
RIFF 7
S/FX: RURITANIAN TYPE MUSIC
S/FX: SUBTLE SOUND OF FEET WALKING
PRINCE SUSAN:
This is the great hall. 13th century. Some of the weapons on display date to this time. Those sabers though, are late 18th century.
MR B:
Who owns this place?
ELEANOR:
Is it a king or a queen?
JIM:
Have you seen Nigel?
PRINCE SUSAN:
[LAUGHING CRUELLY] All in good time folks.
ELEANOR:
Excellent swords. Impressive.
MR B:
I like what you’ve done with the place.
JIM:
That’s a lot of flags.
PRINCE SUSAN:
They are for the ceremony.
JIM:
O’ what ceremony would that be?
PRINCE SUSAN:
On our left is the old banqueting hall. Now we call it the Fruit Room.
MR B:
Why’s it called that?
[TWO BEATS]
PRINCE SUSAN:
Because that’s where we keep the fruit.
ELEANOR:
Why so many small chairs?
PRINCE SUSAN:
There will be a children’s party later. As we go up the stairs you will see the floor pattern in the hallway.
MR B:
O’ I see it. The floor tiles make out a giant oak tree.
JIM:
Look b! In the tree!
MR B:
It’s Nigel!
PRINCE SUSAN LAUGHS
TONY:
Now The Startup micro sitcom!
[SOTTO VOCE] I miss Sharon.
THE START UP: MEDIUM BRANDING
PART 2
TONY:
Our micro-sitcom, The Start up Part 2. Mary ‘The Entrepreneur’ is visiting a branding clairvoyant and visionary.
MARY:
[STRUGGLING TO SIT UP] I like it. I like it a lot. I can’t [GASP], can’t quite sit up. I’m trapped. This bean bag chair is like quick sand!
GWEN:
Your destiny is to rule the kingdoms of commerce…
MARY:
Tell me more…
GWEN:
I see more…
MARY:
Yes!
GWEN:
I see the brand! I see the logo, the colours, purple..
SUSAN:
Pink.
GWEN:
Yes. Pink. A B&M sitting on a crown of thorns…
MARY:
Thorns?
GWEN:
[OPENING ONE EYE TO LOOK QUICKLY AT MARY] No. Not thorns, er…horns. Horns of plenty. Mother Courage wearing a crown of horns with B&M emblazoned…in PINK!
MARY IS STRUGGLING TO MOVE. GWEN LIES BACK PANTING WITH THE EFFORT OF HER ‘VISION’
MARY:
I see it too! Thank you.
SUSAN:
I’ll show you out. Gwen… I mean Gwen-Zilla must rest now. Brace yourself. I’ll pull you off.
MARY:
That would be lovely. I mean, what now?
S/FX: DOOR OPENING
SUSAN:
How about signing up to our exclusive ‘Second Sight, How to Use Visions in Digital Marketing Course…’
THEY EXIT TO RECEPTION
MARY:
Sounds terrific.
SUSAN:
Yes and only nine hundred pounds.
GWEN:
[SHOUTING] And fifty! With a free Tarot reading.
MARY:
What?
TWO BEATS AS MARY STARES AT SUSAN
SUSAN:
Er…
MARY:
Where do I sign?
S/FX: THE START UP THEME
THE START UP: MEDIUM BRANDING
END
RIFF 8
S/FX: RURITANIAN TYPE MUSIC
PRINCE SUSAN:
The king of giant squirrels, Rex Sciuri is the national animal of Gootania. The people gather every 1st of May to see him eat the first nuts of the season.
JIM:
[WHISPERING] I’m a bit lost Mr b. What could this mean?
S/FX: CHILDREN SHOUTING AND PLAYING
MR B:
[WHISPERING] Is Nigel the king of squirrels?
JIM:
[WHISPERING] Perhaps he will want to stay here, amongst his people?
MR B:
[WHISPERING] No! He loves the podcast.
PRINCE SUSAN:
On this floor we have some of our major departments. We’ve had a good harvest this season.
ELEANOR:
Harvest? What, wheat, barley, apples?
PRINCE SUSAN:
Data. Personal data, company data, government data, charity data. Anything we can use to make Gootania even more data rich. Soon, we will have all the data we need!
JIM:
Blimey!
MR B:
Well, well, well…
ELEANOR:
Data?
MR B:
Your majesty, it’s information. Information is power.
ELEANOR:
It used to be the sword.
JIM:
I like to think imagination rules the world.
MR B:
You old romantic, you…
JIM:
What are all these people doing Prince Susan?
S/FX: WATER RUNNING THROUGH PIPES
PRINCE SUSAN:
A variety of teams, a variety of tasks. All to secure the future of Gootania. For instance, Team 7, over there are rolling out conspiracy theories in the UK. Team 9 are creating their next batch of motivating memes that, of course, demotivate and depress anyone scrolling through Instagram.
JIM:
What is that sound of water?
PRINCE SUSAN:
Our cooling system. We have a significant server farm under the castle and extending into the mountain. Aha! Gregor! Looking good!
JIM:
What does Gregor do?
MR B:
He looks very healthy.
PRINCE SUSAN:
Gregor is our head of guilt and eating division. His team specialise in contradictory nutrition advice, eating fads and body shaming. He came up with the ‘Avo-selfie’ campaign.
MR B:
I remember that. People taking a selfie with their favourite avocado. Almost blew up the Internet.
JIM:
And that crew with their baseball caps on backwards?
PRINCE SUSAN:
That’s team 11, digital marketing gurus, you know ‘download my ebook ‘7 Internet Secrets that will make you Millions Overnight’, was $435 now only $7.99, for one day only.’
Every so often we let them out and take pictures of them sitting on someone else’s supercar. [LAUGHING] They are sooooo funny! Stupid, but funny…
ELEANOR:
What’s through that door? The one with the full-length mirror?
PRINCE SUSAN:
That’s where we keep our influencers. You may see them later. Come! It is time to meet Kurt the ‘Chief Disruptor.’
S/FX: RURITANIA MUSIC
S/FX: LIST OF THE WEEK JINGLE/MUSIC
LIST OF THE WEEK
TONY:
List of the week!
JIM:
This week. My prejudices
Number one: Anyone wearing sunglasses indoors, without a medical need.
Number two: Baseball caps worn backwards.
Number three: Anyone who doesn’t appreciate Cate Blanchett.
Number four: Influencers.
Number five: Husky owners who don’t own a sled.
Number six: Parisians, because I’ve met them.
Number seven: Californians, because I’ve met them.
Number eight: I shop at Waitrose, Waitrose is not a measure of your worth.
Number nine: Business coaches, you just need a good friend.
Number ten: Lifestyle models, read something.
Number eleven: Anything with parsnips.
RIFF 9
S/FX: RURITANIA MUSIC
KURT:
Welcome to Gootania.
S/FX: SQUIRREL CHIRPING
MR B:
Nigel!
JIM:
NIGEL!
ELEANOR:
MY BRAVE BOY!
S/FX: WHIRLING OF TANK TRACKS
KURT:
That’s interesting. A coffee machine on tank tracks. Coffee everywhere you go. I like it. How much you want for it?
MR B:
cMac is not for sale.
JIM:
Nor is Nigel.
ELEANOR:
I have knitted you a new scarf my brave boy. Yes, it’s knitted from chainmail.
JIM:
So, you wanted Nigel for your ceremony? To keep the people happy with the King of Squirrels eating the first nuts of May?
KURT:
No.
ELEANOR:
What?
JIM:
What?
MR B:
What?
KURT:
I want your podcast.
MR B:
Jelly Trumpet?
JIM:
Jelly Trumpet?
ELEANOR:
O’ Nigel.
KURT:
I knew if we brought Nigel here. You would follow.
MR B:
Jelly Trumpet is ours!
JIM:
You can’t have Jelly Trumpet. It’s not for sale.
ELEANOR:
See, my pet, your favourite, clink, clink.
KURT:
I’m not buying the podcast. I’m taking it.
JIM:
But you can’t.
MR B:
That’s right you can’t.
KURT:
Do you remember when you signed up to the podcast network? You had to accept our terms and conditions?
JIM:
Erm, yes. There were pages and pages. I mean, well…no one reads the terms and conditions.
KURT:
Page 73 ‘In the event of a podcast becoming popular we reserve the right to take it over without paying anything at all.’
JIM:
Time out! Mr b we have to think of something.
MR B:
Right o.’ Engaging next segment.
S/FX: BUTTON BEING SWITCHED ON
RIFF 10
S/FX: RURITANIA MUSIC
KURT:
The podcast, Jelly Trumpet is now ours. Prince Susan will show you out.
JIM:
Well…er…well…let’ talk…wait. Before we go, share a coffee with us. Mr b. The Super, super, super latte with extra milk.
MR B:
What? O’ right. Setting cMac to super steam.
JIM:
Your majesty, take a blade.
ELEANOR:
But of course.
S/FX: THE SCRAPING OF METAL AS ELEANOR TAKES A SWORD FROM THE WALL
PRINCE SUSAN:
Look out Chief Disrupter! She’s got a blade!
MR B:
And engage steam...
S/FX: ESCAPING STEAM
KURT:
My eyes! The latte! Get her Prince Susan!
S/FX: THE SCRAPING OF METAL AS PRINCE SUSAN TAKES A SWORD
PRINCE SUSAN:
I will cut you to ribbons!
S/FX: SWORD CLASHING ON SWORD
ELEANOR:
I think not prince. [GRUNTING WITH EFFORT] Nigel. After three we ride. One…
JIM:
Make for the children’s party.
KURT:
SECURITY!
MR B:
Engaging cMac boost!
ELEANOR:
Two…
JIM:
We can lose them amongst the children…
MR B:
Look Jim! Loads of security people! Must be a dozen or more!
ELEANOR:
THREE! Ride my furry steed!
KURT:
AFTER THEM!
S/FX: BLEND OF RURITANIA MUSIC, PERHAPS SOMETHING LIKE BENNY HILL THEME
MR B:
What now? There’s loads of them!
JIM:
[SOTTO VOCE] I should really have redrafted this episode. I mean, sword play, in a podcast?
S/FX: SCREAMS AND EXCITEMENT OF CHILDREN
MR B:
We can’t fight all of them Jim!
JIM:
We have to. Then over the balcony, run to Jelly Trumpet and then…
MR B:
Then what Jim?
JIM:
We become an outlaw podcast, forever roaming time, space and media…but we’ll all be FREE!
MR B:
I agree Mr Jim. FREEDOM! What to do about all these security people?
S/FX: NIGEL CHIRPPING
JIM:
Good boy Nigel!
S/FX: CLASHING OF SWORDS
MR B:
Her majesty is putting up a terrific fight! She’s getting the better of Prince Susan. Look! The security team is getting closer Jim. What can we do?
JIM:
Wait. I know. More steam Mr b and then we party, we party like unsupervised children.
MR B:
What? OK. Setting cMac to steam overdrive.
S/FX: MERGING OF CLASH OF SWORDS, HISSING OF STEAM AND SUBTLE BENNY HILL TYPE CHASE MUSIC
JIM:
READY MR B?
MR B:
READY MR JIM.
JIM:
Fire!
S/FX: SPLATS OF JELLY AND BLANCMANGE INTERSPERSED WITH THE EXISTING SOUNDTRACK
MR B:
This blancmange is deadly!
S/FX: “SPLAT” “SPLAT” “SPLAT”
JIM:
The jelly works a treat too!
S/FX: VOICES CRYING OUT AS THEY ARE SPLATTED
JIM:
THE PIES MR B! USE THE PIES
S/FX: “SPLAT” “SPLAT” “SPLAT”
JIM:
Your majesty, time to go!
ELEANOR:
Very well Mr Jim. Nigel avance!
S/FX: A FINAL CLASH OF SWORDS
PRINCE SUSAN:
My hair!
ELEANOR:
Aha! Good boy Nigel. You spit so very well.
JIM:
EVERYONE! THIS WAY
S/FX: RURITANIA MUSIC SEGWAYS INTO JELLY TRUMPET THEME
S/FX: AIR LOCK CLOSING. ENGINE TURNING OVER
JIM:
Welcome back Nigel.
S/FX: SQUIRREL CHRIPING
ELEANOR:
Yes. My brave boy. Have a brioche. Don’t get any crumbs on your new scarf.
MR B:
What now Mr Jim?
[TWO BEATS]
JIM:
We’re outlaws now Mr b. Set course for season 3.
MR B:
Aye aye Mot Homme! Setting course for season 3.
ALL: HUZZAH!
S/FX: WHOOSHING SOUND AS THE PODCAST TAKES OFF
JIM:
Thank you for listening. Thank you for all those that encourage Jelly Trumpet. Thank you to Mr Tony for the voice work, thank you to Ms Claire – the voice of Queen Eleanor and Mary the entrepreneur and thank you to Mr b and Kel. Stay fab.
IDENT
TONY:
That was Jelly Trumpet ‘Making you more creative’ with Jim Kinloch and Mr b.
Sponsored by Conversion Detectives, the creative digital marketing agency. Search Conversion Detectives.
JIM:
Now here’s Mr b playing us Xxxxx by ‘We Paint Houses’ Find the band on FaceTube and Bandcamp.
MUSIC
‘We Paint Houses’ tune.
RIFF 11
JIM:
Some clarification Mr b.
MR B:
Yes Jim?
JIM:
Tony’s Sharon?
MR B:
Yes?
JIM:
Is Tony’s Sharon a kitten, a fish or a real lady?
MR B:
We simply don’t know.
JIM:
O’.
MR B:
But we think Sharon is a fish.
JIM:
Well, stranger things happen on other podcasts.
S/FX: TUMBLEWEED BEING BLOWN ACROSS A DESERT LANDSCAPE
END OF PART II